I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize