I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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