dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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