OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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