# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i was born a porn star she said
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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