he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
