cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
