But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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