My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
