So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
