Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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