It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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