This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Randomize
