you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm having to shit out rocks
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
