Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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