I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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