This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If I had your ass I would rule the world
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
