There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
