Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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