Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
