She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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