Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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