I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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