Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
