You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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