no you cant smoke seaweed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
