Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
