I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
