He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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