if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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