His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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