Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Randomize
