check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
