party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
