They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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