another moral hangover. fuck.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
