3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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