Fine. I'll sleep in my office
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
