Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
