he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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