There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
