WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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