I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
