She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
