Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
