try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize