I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
