I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This is the high leading the old right now
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize