i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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