things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize