Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
