Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
