Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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