i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
