i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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