I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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