I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
