i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
