Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Soap is not a condiment
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
