There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
