I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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