considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
