In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
