I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize