TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
