you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
