You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
